Digital immigrant

I have 47 blog posts in my drafts folder but I’ve lost my blogging mojo. For now. That partly explains some of my bad behaviour, ie, not responding to some comments with the gravitas they require. I blame my current obsession with movies and reading but there are also some other factors involved. Life’s Administration Department also caught up with me in some pleasant and some not so pleasant ways.

I’ll be back though. I just need to reread Things fall apart for the nth time. It seems that some people think Achebe was sympathetic to the ‘woman question‘. I need to test this hypothesis. In the meantime I can recommend the following: Persepolis, Happiness, Pleasantville, I’ve loved you for so long, The rabbi’s cat, and ‘Reason‘ from I, Robot.

Clarissa has a quiz about sexism on her blog.

I took it and realised that it needs some work. The average person responding to the first question — In the dating game, nice guys always finish last –  might answer based on their limited sample of data: friends, family members and possibly acquaintances. Their answer might not reflect what they believe, but what they notice around them. I answered ‘Disagree completely’ because what is a ‘nice guy‘ anyway?

The second question: I am a heterosexual woman and this question erases my existence. I answered ‘Disagree Completely’.

The third question also seems to talk to a hypothetical male reader. I answered ‘Disagree Completely’.

The fourth question: well, I don’t know the answer. I answered ‘Disagree completely’ but who knows? Perhaps women are seemingly more adept at learning languages but because of nurture, not nature.

The fifth question: once again, nurture plays a role here. This might not have anything to do with nature so I answered ‘Disagree completely’. But let’s face it, men rarely talk about their feelings unless we press them for it. This is because our society believes that ‘real men don’t cry’ and other nonsense like that. Does this make me a sexist cause I happen to notice more women being comfortable talking about their feelings?

The sixth question: Yes, of course women worry more about their weight. We’re constantly bombarded by the media, by friends, by everyone that we should be young, pretty and skinny. This is not due to being hardwired to worry about our weight more often. Does it make me borderline sexist to answer ‘Agree completely’?

The seventh question: Once again we should ask why. Is it because of nature or nurture? Women are conditioned to want marriage and 2.5 children. It aint sexist to agree with this statement.

The eighth question: I can’t remember my answer.But the ‘very emotional’ bit would put me off a guy. Emotional is good on its own

The ninth question: ‘Agree completely’

The tenth question: ‘Agree completely’. Of course there are benefits to having stay-at-home mother, just as there would be benefits to having a stay-at-home father. It isn’t sexist to accept that. The problem is not with having a stay-at-home parent, the problem is that all too often it’s presented as the only choice available to women.

This is awesome.

Image

OK, scrap the ‘kinda sorta’ nonsense. I love all my readers and I especially love the ones who send me emails. (Yes, I even appreciate dearest Thabo and ‘his’ unhealthy obsession with my eksent.) I love hearing from you so please don’t stop.

I’m a bit of a busybody sometimes. So I gotta know what you’re reading. Is it any good? Is it boring? And would you recommend it?

Nou sit ek om ‘n tafel

met my voorvaders se vyande

Ek knik en groet bedagsaam

maar

êrens diep binne my

weet ek waar ek staan

My hart en kop is oop

en soos goed opgevoede mense

lag en eet ons saam

maar

êrens diep binne my

weet ek waar ek staan

Ronelda S Kamfer

Dear world

I’m not into black men. Here’s the shocker — I’m into men. SoI find some black men attractive. OK, fine, I find many black men attractive. But it isn’t their skin colour that’s attractive. Can you wrap your head around the possibility that I actually find their personalities to be attractive? Their beautiful minds? Or their other features? Oh, and just to clarify things a bit more…I’m not attracted to all black men; I’m attracted to some black men just as I’m attracted to some coloured, white and Indian men.

So please stop telling me about that hot Zimbabwean dude whom you know I’ll like cause I’m ‘into black men’. Or no, wait, now that I think about it, please do introduce me to him

Love and hugs

So there I was on Friday, listening to someone asking whether there are Boerejode. He didn’t use that word but that’s what he was asking about, ie, Afrikaans speaking Jews.

He didn’t direct the question to me but I decided to be a know-it-all and answered his question in the affirmative. Yes, there are indeed Boerejode.

His response was one of incredulity; he couldn’t believe that there are Jews who speak Afrikaans — he’s never met a Boerejood. And that’s funny because I know of at least one such family.

It’s funny how our environment shapes our understanding of the world. Some of the things we consider weird or exotic are actually very much vanilla in other parts of the world. So why is it that so many of us are unwilling or unable to make that mental leap? Is it a form of hubris to want to define the world by the things we’ve experienced? Or rather, should I ask whether it’s a form of hubris to say ‘I’ve never encountered a Boerejood so ergo there can’t be any in existence’.

Is this error of thinking solely a ‘biased example’, or does it intersect with some other error of thinking that I have never heard of?

I’m one of the supposedly smallish percentage of people who talk to themselves. This won’t be news to you if you know me or if you’ve seen me walking down the road. And yes, I do sometimes talk to myself in public, though I’m quick to STFU when I realise there are people nearby.

I really enjoy talking to myself and I look forward to those sessions. This is pretty consistent with what some other people experience, though I know I’m looking at a tiny section of the self-talking population — people who admit to talking to themselves 2) in blog or forum comments on the internet. Some of these people are INTP or INTJ and they are or were only children.

So I had what started off as a debate about the advantages of self-talk last week. I couldn’t think of any off-hand but then I started to think about it on Friday.

I tend to talk to myself when I’m alone or when I think I am alone. But there are also differences — when I know that I am alone I’ll be a lot more expressive with my facial expressions and arm movements. When I’m walking somewhere for example, I’ll speak softly and I’ll try to keep hand and facial movements to a minimum.

There are definitely benefits to self-talk. I tend to plan things by talking to myself. I’ll consider what to do this month and then weigh that up to what I’ll do next month. It helps to clear up confusion, even if just by a little bit.

It also helps me to solve problems when I talk out loud like that. I remember doing this with math problems in high school. It also relieves stress but what’s strange is that I sometimes stop talking to myself when I’m under extreme stress. And then I get lonely.

At other times I’ll be commenting on an article that I’m reading, never mind that someone else is around with whom I can talk. It’s a pity that we’ve stigmatised self-talk as particular to schizophrenia. I don’t hear voices in my head so I kinda can’t be schizophrenic.

So now you know that you’re not the only one. And it’s really not such a crazy or unusual thing to do, this talking to yourself.

I want to dedicate this song to a spessal person who likes to listen to liedjies en sulke goed.