Comments on: Women: the patriarchy needs YOUR support!

By: Your sexist writing style isn’t professional, dude « Digital immigrant

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:21:29 +0000

[...] don’t know whether they’ll agree with me that this is sexist; many women are indoctrinated by society — they don’t see sexism. And they are some of the key people we need to speak out and [...]

By: Joy-Mari Cloete

Joy-Mari Cloete — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:03:43 +0000

Hi, Morgan Finch

I’m in favour of women receiving half the marital assets. 100%

Unfortunately, most men don’t see it like that. They see it as ‘Oh, God, the bitch took half of my money!’. They conveniently forget how she had supported them, how she had looked after the children, and what other sacrifices she had made before and during their marriage.

It’s a complex situation because women who become stay at home moms lose out on so much, especially a retirement portfolio.

By: Morgan Finch

Morgan Finch — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:04:34 +0000

i dunno if i like this, espeically this part “The system needs women to demand they be given sole custodianship of their children after a divorce. The system needs women to demand they be given half their spouse… Read More’s assets after a divorce.” I don’t see it as progressive to castigate women who, having been forced not to work through systemic barriers, patriarchy and abusive financial control, ask that they not have to live in absolute poverty or lose the children which is the only they have left after they were denied an education and a meaningful job, and put in far more than half the work of raising them anyway. Sure, for people like us it’s ridiculous to demand that your once-husband support you forever. But for women who are living lives more defined by patriarchy, asking for half of the marital assets is basically saying that their work is not worth nothing, and that they really do have more a right to the children then someone who never changed a diaper. It can be a feminist act.

I guess my point is that not all things work for most women. And as we work for greater equality, we need to try not to dismantle things that the majority of women in this society, who are not living in liberated or equal relationships, need for their very survival, and the survival of their children.

That being said: yes. the patriarchy is just as much about women as it is about men.

By: Joy-Mari Cloete

Joy-Mari Cloete — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:08:00 +0000

B Adu, I can’t agree more with you. And I haven’t yet thought of men projecting their self-loathing onto women… that to me is a new concept, but not entirely surprising.

By: Joy-Mari Cloete

Joy-Mari Cloete — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:05:35 +0000

Hi, Stefan

Yeah, that’s exactly what ‘the system’ wants. Men and women alike shun men who aren’t ‘masculine’ enough. And then the ‘Metrosexual’ arrived, though many women — myself included — would still prefer a man who doesn’t wear make-up. We’ve all been so indoctrinated how a ‘man’ should act; we’ve forgotten how to act like ourselves.

But I’m glad to see that there are ‘older’ white men who try to buck the system.

By: Stefan

Stefan — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 06:00:16 +0000

Hi, I follow your blogs with interest. Note that I am an “older”, white male that grew up in the bad old days. Ironically, I find many areas where I sympathize with you above, as I was not a rugby-playing, beer drinking, large & fleshy guy (nor one of the “manne”). I was therefore an outcast and branded a “communist” (go figure??); not complying with what the system demanded.

Go for it.

By: B Adu

B Adu — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:12:41 +0000

Men aren’t the only ones involved in the patriarchy; women, too, are involved.

This often goes unsaid by certain feminists and I think it perversely creates a sense of shame in women that they are not perfect virtuous ‘victims’.

We all have to collude somewhat in our own oppression in ways that are hard to tease out and hard to face and we need to support each other in facing that fact.

I also think about accusations of ‘slut’ and the like, illustrate how men are encouraged to void their self loathing into women and then feel like attacking women.

I think that partriarchal dictates cause this self loathing by defining masculinity, not as what a man is, but what he should be in order to uphold the status quo.