Women: the patriarchy needs YOUR support!
Men aren’t the only ones involved in the patriarchy; women, too, are involved. Women need to be involved in patriarchy, otherwise the power structure will collapse.
The system needs women to demean other women for being ’slutty’, ‘easy’, or a ‘bitch’. The system needs women to believe they are ‘less than’ men on so many levels. The system needs women to demand they be given sole custodianship of their children after a divorce. The system needs women to demand they be given half their spouse’s assets after a divorce. The system needs women to demand goods in exchange for sex. The system needs women to pretend it doesn’t exist. The system needs women to objectify themselves to ‘boost the team’s morale’, or for ‘good times’.The system needs women to claim that sexist, racist, ableist, or classist jokes do not offend them. The system needs women to be very, very afraid of those humourless feminists with their massive vaginas and unshaven pussies. The system needs women to be afraid of being called a ‘lesbo’ or ‘dyke’. The system needs women to be obsessed with make-up, hair care, shiny objects, and above all, shoes. The system needs women to believe they’re incomplete without children. The system needs women to believe that all they need – all they really want! – is a nice juicy cock.
The system needs women to revere femininity. The system needs women to appreciate, and seek out, masculinity in a man. The system needs women to be highly sexualised playthings of men, whether they be young or old, rich or poor. The system needs women to believe that rape is their fucking fault for being so fucking sexy, bitch! The system needs women to believe that sexual harassment is a compliment. The system needs women to believe they’re so much better than those disgusting menz or that they’re dirty, dirty, dirty. The system needs women to accept glittery jewellery after an argument with their spouse. The system needs women to believe they deserve an abusive spouse. The system needs women to blame themselves for failing. The system needs women to think of themselves as individuals only sometimes; nearly always as part of a homogenous group. The system needs women to believe. The system needs women to believe in its god, God or gods of choice. The system needs women to believe that they are the Second Sex. The system needs women to believe that they are mysterious creatures. The system needs women to believe that they are fragile and in need of looking after. The system needs non-black women to believe that black men are brutes and white men are their saviours. The system needs women to believe that they can’t travel alone. The system needs women to believe that housework is part of a woman’s job description. The system needs women to indulge men. The system needs women to excuse men’s bad behaviour with boys will be boys and oy, the menz are a st00pid bunch, eh?
The system needs women to be happy wearing bikinis, high heels, and make-up. The system needs women to be content with unstimulating careers. The system needs women to enjoy being passive, coy and ‘nice’. The system needs women to dislike sex and to be asexual. The system needs women to be a whore in bed, a lady in the street and a chef in the kitchen . The system needs women to aspire to one day be a MILF or a cougar. The system needs women to downplay their intelligence. The system needs women to submit to their husband, their father land and to their God. The system needs women to breed strong babies who can die while performing nationalism and democracy in Iraq. The system needs women to sacrifice their goals, feelings, ambitions, time, love, bodies, and self-esteem in order that the system can survive. The system needs women to rely on men for money, love, shelter, food, children, approval, jobs, dignity, intimacy, entertainment, education, health, and to fight their battles for them. The system needs women as a scapegoat. The system needs women to berate men for not performing chivalry. The system needs women to be good little consumers. The system needs women to stay at home, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. The system needs women to diet. The system needs women to read fluffy magazines that teach them nothing about nothing. The system needs women to shut the fuck up, ho!
The system needs women to apologise for having ideas, for having feelings, for having period cramps, for being a woman, for not being a man, for being short, for being fat, for being too intelligent, for beating a guy at chess, for wanting link juice for her blog, for wanting a relationship, for only wanting SEX, for complaining at all, for killing their children, for holding their own in a debate, for living in their own flat, for not wearing high heels, for wearing ‘hooker heels’, for reading illicit romances, for reading feminist tracts, for eating too much,for eating too little, for being sad, for being bi-polar, for being sluts, for being nuns, for outperforming men in the workplace, for being the cause of the downfall of the menz in general, for not being on the internet, for not fucking potential rapists/serial killers and therefore sending tipping over the edge, ie, they go on a shooting/raping fest, for being all over the internet, for scouting for misogyny, for not caring enough, for being a humourless-man-hating-Birkenstock-wearing-Gloria Steinem-reading-kinky haired-fat-black lesbian, for being poor, for being wealthy, for living in the Southern Hemisphere, for drinking wine on Sundays, for being unfeminine, for having an unattractive body, for believing in the wrong god/God, for not believing in any god/God, for having abortions, for having 8 babies all at once, for having curly hair, for having kroes hair, for having flat feet, for having thick ankles, for having cellulite, for having stretch marks, for having the audacity to demand change, for having the gall to refuse a white man a seat, for being a bad mother, for not being there when she was supposed to be there because her child had the nerve to fall ill yet again!, for spending too much on that ill-begotten credit card that she only took out because the nice man said she deserves to spoil herself every now and again, for dreaming about a comfortable life once in a while, for daring to think she deserves an education, for being cheeky enough to tell the teacher their calculations are wrong,”here’s my calculation”, for being herself, for not being good enough.
The system needs women to believe they don’t belong on the internet. The system needs women, women like you and me, to not do anything about other women’s oppression. The system needs women to believe they shouldn’t worry their pretty little heads about politics, economics, power disparities, gender equality, big companies creating havoc, corruption, or the darn lawnmower that’s being difficult. The system needs women to support their man in more feminine fashion, ie, fundraising when he’s running for office; prancing around in high heels to boost his flagging libido; bake cookies for the children so that he can watch television in peace after a long day’s struggle at the office; and to not ever refuse him sex. The system needs women to hate their curly hair. The system needs women to hate their straight hair. The system needs women to hate their kinky hair. The system needs women to want bigger breasts. The system needs women to want smaller breasts. The system needs women to want designer vaginas. The system needs women to believe that feminism in this day and age is pathetic.
Men aren’t the only ones involved in the patriarchy; women, too, are involved.
This often goes unsaid by certain feminists and I think it perversely creates a sense of shame in women that they are not perfect virtuous ‘victims’.
We all have to collude somewhat in our own oppression in ways that are hard to tease out and hard to face and we need to support each other in facing that fact.
I also think about accusations of ’slut’ and the like, illustrate how men are encouraged to void their self loathing into women and then feel like attacking women.
I think that partriarchal dictates cause this self loathing by defining masculinity, not as what a man is, but what he should be in order to uphold the status quo.
Hi, I follow your blogs with interest. Note that I am an “older”, white male that grew up in the bad old days. Ironically, I find many areas where I sympathize with you above, as I was not a rugby-playing, beer drinking, large & fleshy guy (nor one of the “manne”). I was therefore an outcast and branded a “communist” (go figure??); not complying with what the system demanded.
Go for it.
Hi, Stefan
Yeah, that’s exactly what ‘the system’ wants. Men and women alike shun men who aren’t ‘masculine’ enough. And then the ‘Metrosexual’ arrived, though many women — myself included — would still prefer a man who doesn’t wear make-up. We’ve all been so indoctrinated how a ‘man’ should act; we’ve forgotten how to act like ourselves.
But I’m glad to see that there are ‘older’ white men who try to buck the system.
B Adu, I can’t agree more with you. And I haven’t yet thought of men projecting their self-loathing onto women… that to me is a new concept, but not entirely surprising.
i dunno if i like this, espeically this part “The system needs women to demand they be given sole custodianship of their children after a divorce. The system needs women to demand they be given half their spouse… Read More’s assets after a divorce.” I don’t see it as progressive to castigate women who, having been forced not to work through systemic barriers, patriarchy and abusive financial control, ask that they not have to live in absolute poverty or lose the children which is the only they have left after they were denied an education and a meaningful job, and put in far more than half the work of raising them anyway. Sure, for people like us it’s ridiculous to demand that your once-husband support you forever. But for women who are living lives more defined by patriarchy, asking for half of the marital assets is basically saying that their work is not worth nothing, and that they really do have more a right to the children then someone who never changed a diaper. It can be a feminist act.
I guess my point is that not all things work for most women. And as we work for greater equality, we need to try not to dismantle things that the majority of women in this society, who are not living in liberated or equal relationships, need for their very survival, and the survival of their children.
That being said: yes. the patriarchy is just as much about women as it is about men.
Hi, Morgan Finch
I’m in favour of women receiving half the marital assets. 100%
Unfortunately, most men don’t see it like that. They see it as ‘Oh, God, the bitch took half of my money!’. They conveniently forget how she had supported them, how she had looked after the children, and what other sacrifices she had made before and during their marriage.
It’s a complex situation because women who become stay at home moms lose out on so much, especially a retirement portfolio.
[...] don’t know whether they’ll agree with me that this is sexist; many women are indoctrinated by society — they don’t see sexism. And they are some of the key people we need to speak out and [...]