What being coloured means to me
- Being coloured means being watched by the store security guard much more closely.
- Being coloured means being expected to like Gatsbys.
- Being coloured means Afrikaansspeaking tannies are surprised about your ‘nice’ accent.
- Being coloured means the waiter assumes you’re European when you order steak tartare or a ristretto.
- Being coloured means spending too much money on hair relaxers and other straighteners, never mind the amount of time it takes to blow dry your hair.
- Being coloured means you were probably brought up on the wrong side of the tracks.
- Being coloured means people are surprised that you hadn’t been brought up on the wrong side of the tracks.
- Being coloured means people are surprised that you blog about grammar, language and stuff.
- Being coloured means car guards call your white friend Ma’am but they call you sista.
- Being coloured means being ashamed to admit you like R&B music to your white friends.
- Being coloured means people expect you to be happy. All the fucking time.
- Being coloured means getting shitty service.
- Being coloured means other people call you a ‘coloured’.
- Being coloured means you have to be strong[er].
- Being coloured means you might codeswitch.
- Being coloured means you live in two different worlds.
- Being coloured means having friends assure you that “you’re not like those other coloureds”.
- Being coloured means the SA Media only shows one side of your culture: the Cape Coloured.
- Being coloured means you should watch Girlfriends, not Sex and the City.
- Being coloured means denying that you’re a typical coloured.
- Being coloured means everyone dismisses your culture as non-existent.
- Being coloured means you have few positive role models in the media.
- Being coloured means you’re called a ’so-called coloured’.
- Being coloured means your blog does not get much linkjuice.
- Being coloured means having a R10 000 chip on your shoulder. Always.
- Being coloured means that ‘flesh colour’ stockings and bandages are too light.
- Being coloured means having to work harder at being nice.
- Being coloured means you always wonder “Is it cause I’m coloured?”
- Being coloured means people think you’re on Mxit when you’re posting a link to Twitter or Friendfeed.
- Being coloured means getting the table in the corner near the kitchen.
- Being coloured means you’re the only POC (person of colour) in the restaurant.
- Being coloured means your [white or black] friends don’t always get your cultural references.
- Being coloured means no-one comments on your blog.
- Being coloured means kak espressos and not getting a ‘Thank you’ from waiters. Ever.
- Being coloured means people are surprised that you read [books, blogs, newspapers, magazines].
- Being coloured means you wonder — sometimes aloud — where the coloured bloggers are hiding.
- Being coloured means people roll their eyes when you say something is race-related.
- Being coloured means you should go to Galaxy, not Asoka.
- Being coloured means acting more white when with whites, and more black when with blacks.
- Being coloured means being invisible.
- Being coloured means the waiter is surprised at the small/modest/large tip you give.
- Being coloured means people assume you got your accent at a Model C school.
- Being coloured means people assume you are religious.
- Being coloured means people assume you speak Kombuis Afrikaans.
- Being coloured means people assume you speak Kitchen English.
- Being coloured means ’shopping while coloured’, ‘driving while coloured’, hell, even ‘walking while coloured’.
- Being coloured means hoping to marry a white person so that the future children will have lighter skin, grou oë en ‘n betere draad hare.
- Being coloured means having to defend AA and BEE ad nauseam.
- Being coloured means not knowing who you are.
- Being coloured means tipping too much cause you want better service next time.
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Coloureds are cool. They are the only real South Africans.
Not so sure about that, jong. We’re all South Africans, no?
Joy-Mari
What’s wrong with the Gala?
LOL. Nothing
It was just an example.
Nice post.
Hope you don’t find that too patronising.
Merci, Jono. Any thoughts on it?
Joy-Mari
WTF? Is this for real?
I thought colour was not meant to be an issue anymore. Saying stuff like this keeps colour an issue. As long as people see themselves differently, nothing in South Africa will ever change.
Hey, Rosie.
Yes, this is for real. Take a look around you and you’ll see that race is as big an issue as poverty. The people who do not [want to] admit that race still matters are often the ones with the most privilege.
Please read these two websites when you have some free time: Racialicious, Angry Black Woman.
Joy-Mari
This is fucking funny as well as very apt, insightful and spot-on! Thanks for this illuminating window into Coloured life
Much respekt!
Merci, Mario. I copied Scalzi’s Being Poor post but made it about race. And I actually expected you to hate my post. Funny, hey?
Joy-Mari
Nice post. Race is *always* an issue. I have feeling many people feel displaced in South Africa at the moment. I think it’s much better to be vocal about issues of colour, gender, race, class etc than to sweep them under the carpet and pretend they don’t exist.
Hey, Graeme. Yes, absolutely. We humans always find something to obsess about. Right now we obsess about race. Or am I over-simplifying?
Joy-Mari
I might explain what I mean in a blog post soon, but basically coloureds are the only Saffers that really have an insight to both the black and white worlds.
Hey, Wildebees. I don’t have an insight into the black world. But I do have a slight understanding of how white people live, work and play. Just a slight one, though.
Joy-Mari
I think your post is a bit too subjective, i.e. you are speaking from your own experience than objectively outlining coloured culture…
“Being coloured means being watched by the store security guard much more closely.”
I have never experienced this in my entire 25 years of being coloured…the security guards in stores are actually more helpful, and also sometimes I get better service by sales people.
“Being coloured means being expected to like Gatsbys.”
No-one ever expects you to like anything….being mixed, I have white family and friends and none of them ever expected me to like Gatsbys, besides, I love them
“Being coloured means spending too much money on hair relaxers and other straighteners, never mind the amount of time it takes to blow dry your hair.”
Also, this is very subjective, I hardly ever relax or straighten my hair…like my mom always tells me “n hond kak hare”
“Being coloured means no-one comments on your blog.”
What the hell am I doing now..lol
Maybe you should go back to the drawing board..try looking at things as they are and not as you perceive them to be….
That’s my 5 cents
Hey, Sadie
The post’s title is What being coloured means to me. Of course it is subjective. But my experience does not differ that much to other POC.
There is far too much racial profiling in our society. Black people, on average, are scrutinised far more closely than white people are.
Coloured people are ‘known’ for liking gatsbys. Most people (other coloureds, especially!) do not expect us to dislike gatsbys or to prefer sashimi/corndogs/steak tartare.
Perhaps you don’t fit my description. But there are many other people who nod their heads and say ‘Yeah! I know what it’s like to be watched more closely by the security guards cause I’m black.’ Ever heard of driving while black?
So you rarely relax your hair. Good for you. But there are many more WOC who do relax their hair. You see, this isn’t about Sadie. This is about my experience and what I have seen. Racism is the sum of small injustices. And I’ve described 50 of them on this here post.
No, its definitely not about me…I never said it was..it was basically how I felt after reading your post, there are some points in there that just doesn’t ring true to me, even if it is from your own personal experience. for example:
“Being coloured means having friends assure you that “you’re not like those other coloureds”.”
“other coloureds”…I mean, speaking now from my personal experience, the reason why I am proud to be a coloured is due to the fact that were are such a diverse people. Unfortunately, yes, we are portrayed incorrectly in SA media, I wish there were a documentary that would show off how beautiful our culture is, instead of all the niggles in our community.
And writing blog posts like this, makes other non-coloured people believe this is how coloured people actually feel about being coloured, which isn’t exactly true.
Thanks for the reply though
And yet you constantly weighed up my experience to yours?
How do you know other coloured people do not share my feelings on being coloured in a white-centric world?
[...] Many people would find this funny, I know. Just a pity that I don’t. It’s interesting, though, to see what the online world thinks of us. But what’s even more interesting is that there are some people who think colour is no longer supposed to be an issue. [...]
I cannot understand why you say these things – I have lots of coloured friends and never looked at them the way you state it here, maybe a little, but its funny and cool – I’ve always seen coloured people as part of my own ethnic group, we share more similarities than any other race, and all whities I know feel the same – you guys rock!!!
…but lend me an ear.
What being white is means to me:
1.Too white to land a good job.
2. Being targeted by black robbers and rapists.
3. Can’t stay to long in sun, else you end up a tomato.
4. When you open your mouth, you’re accused of racism.
5. No recognition for the established infrastructure and systems by the Europeans
…the list can go on, but let me stop here.
1. That’s just not true. BEE only applies to government and Big Company jobs. And it still doesn’t exclude white people. Women and disabled people can also be white. What’s more, SA companies need to represent the demographic makeup of South Africa so they have to recruit white people, too. But companies with a yearly turnover of less than R5 million are BEE exempt. So that means that white men can still get ‘good’ jobs. And really, what is a ‘good’ job?
2. I’ve been mugged and burgled so many times and I’m not white. There are statistics out there that show that black people suffer the most due to crime.
3. This isn’t because of society, though. Besides, I also burn when I’m in the sun.
4. This is true in some instances but perhaps you’re dealing with people who are unwilling to look at the facts at hand; therefore, they use ad homs to silence the white person.
5. Who did the hard work? Black people did and they also get no recognition.
Hi Joy-Mari
Very nice article.
I recruit people for paid Market Research groups in JHB and almost always the client needs input from mixed races. I have a few groups that require Coloured people and I having difficulty asking my coloured friends for referrals… only because I hate the whole “race issue” and wish I didn’t have to ask.
My question is, do Coloureds mind being called Coloureds? Do you know what I mean? Like Black people prefer being called Africans?
Sincerely apologise if any offence caused.
Kind Regards
Jenni
Hey, Jenni
It depends on whom you ask. There are some people who talk about ’so-called coloureds’ and then there are people who are happy to use the word ‘coloured’. Some Afrikaans speaking coloureds use the word ‘kleurling’. I sometimes call myself a black woman but I also sometimes call myself coloured. Most coloured people would feel offended if you call them black. So I can understand how difficult it must be for you. The easiest would be to test the waters and to stick with what they want you to call them.
And no, no offense taken
J
Thank you so much Joy-Mari, that does help
Glad I could help, Jenni