I believe the source of most bad experiences are waiters who would rather be somewhere else or day dreamt through customer service 101. They have no passion or interest in what they do and just want to get their day over and done with.

However being POC male myself, lf I have made the unfortunate race experience on multiple occasions. My strategy – screw them. Out of principle I stick it out and they just have to serve me. Their reward is my tip of the day – don’t look into the sun.

To avoid bad service I try to set-up a pleasant experience by greeting them by the first names if they have a badge or enquiring if they don’t. I generally make a bit of small talk – you’d be surprised how far that goes.

In general I think you pay for service i.e. the more expensive the restaurant the better the service. Well I suppose that’s been my experience anyway. The best service I ever received – Beluga in Green Point.

Hey, Andre. Yeah, I do that, too. My best dining experience? Cape Heritage Hotel. I can’t wait to go back there. But no, more expensive doesn’t always mean good service.

Curly hair and a mocha skin tone, hey?

Being pleasant doesn’t always work, and isn’t always possible. I’m civil and I’m spending money; that’s enough, right?

I can give you too many examples of sitting down at a restaurant and receiving a menu or my order from a waiter whose face is turned away from me. Or just being ignored.

The customer shouldn’t need to be friendly; the waiter should be friendly at all times.

@YouKnowWho: I’ll go have a look on Saturday. Thank you. I really prefer espressos but I’ll have a cappuccino just to test.

@Amod: Hey! I absolutely agree. I stay away from restaurants and coffee shops when I’m having a bad day. My mood is normally neutral when I go have coffee. And I also let managers know when the waitron was excellent. But it’s not always possible to be served by the same person. Pity.

@André: Hey, hey, hey! You do look Afrikaans. I don’t know why but I assumed you’re Afrikaans. Forgive me?

I never realised that some POC act condescendingly towards white patrons. I’m sorry and saddened to hear that.

Kidding aside. Waitrons are there to serve you. Not because it’s their station in life, cos it’s their job. I normally tip generously, especially on small bills, and 20% is a kind of standard for bigger, but I will not hesitate to not tip, or have an attitude adjusting word with one who needs it. And I have no problem embarrassing an in-attentive waitron from across a room. I’d prefer not to, of course, but this is not a fucking democracy. I’m the customer. If that sits badly, find another line of work.

At the same time, there’s a flip side to this. Pale males like me get a significant level of ‘tude from many POC waitrons, cashiers etc. (Note. Somehow, I look Afrikaans, apparently. WTF? This exacerbates the ‘tude. How’d I know? When people begin by speaking to you in Afrikaans, it’s a sure sign) I personally choose to deal with it by dialling down my own sensitivity levels. That leaves me free to fight when it’s worth it, and let the other person work out their demons on me, when it’s not, with almost no mental stress. They don’t like me cos I’m white (and I look Afrikaans..). See? Didn’t faze me at all. Screw up my order, and we’ll dance, you and I. Ignore/be condescending to my date cos she’s a POC (!) and I my Shiva persona *will* be in attendance.

Now that was all about me, and I suspect you’d be hard pressed to extract a direct answer to your question. So. No, I don’t think the big tip wins the day.
1. It happens after the fact (yes, there’s learned behaviour, but still…),
2. No matter how generous, the tip is never going to be enough to reverse the effects of social engineering.

That’s all I have )

All this adds up to really good relationships with restaurant staff and excellent dining experiences.

I also spent 10 years waitressing – I served black people who were amongst the highest tippers – so it all kinda depends on the people I suppose!

I used to be a waitress, so I know how waitrons think. Coloured, Indian and black people were singled out as the ‘bad tippers’ and some waitrons refused to serve them.